Why are you braking?

Argh. Why? Why are you braking? There aren't any cars in front of you, so you can't be worried about hitting them. There is no sign of the cops, and even if there was you weren't even speeding. That can't be why. There are no animals roaming along this particular highway that you have to slow down to avoid hitting. I don't see any debris in the road. This section of the road is straight, so you can't be slowing down to go through a turn. And finally, I am not tailgating you, so you aren't brake checking me. That right there is the complete list of reasons (and not all of them are good ones) to tap your brakes on the highway. None of these qualify in your case. So explain to me, why did you tap your brakes? What was going on in your mind when you removed your foot from the accelerator and onto the brake pedal? I need to know. You have now annoyed me in two ways. One, by slowing me down with your idiotic braking and two, by making me wonder about what goes on in that tiny little skull of yours. I think I've made it clear by now that I hate you, and I don't want to know anything about you. Why are you such a bad driver?

4-Wheel Drive...

...is not 4-Wheel stop.

Hey, congrats on your shiny 4-Wheel Drive SUV. It's really nice. I bet that makes it much easier to get out of snowy parking lots. That must be nice. But, well, you are traveling at such a high rate of speed, and the road conditions are so poor that I have to tell you: 4-Wheel Drive does not help you to actually stop. I know this may come as a shock to you but all your fancy 4-Wheel Drive does is provide power to all four wheels when you hit the accelerator. When you brake, you will be facing the same low traction surface as the rest of us. The difference is, I am going at a reasonable rate of speed with plenty of assured clear distance, and you are driving like it's a warm summer day. Here is an illustration of your most likely destination:

You in a snow bank.

Ooh, it looks like your 4-Wheel drive isn't going to help get out of that. Remember: snow, ice, and rain all reduce your traction. So reduce your speed, or else I will murder you with my eyes as you pass me and then laugh merrily when I see you in a ditch a few miles later. Obviously you are a bad driver, but you are too dumb to hate...no, you know what, I still hate you.

Why did you pass me...

...if you are immediately going to stop and make a left-hand turn?

Look, I have no problem with you passing me. Sometimes my rate of speed is too slow for you, and that's cool. But why did you take it upon yourself to pass me when your turn is coming up? It makes no sense. You saved zero seconds, and now I have to wait for you to turn or for traffic to clear so I can go around you. The only logical explanation for your action here is that you are a narcissistic jerk who has no consideration for how your actions effect others. It probably goes without saying, but I hate you.