No, I will not let you merge.

I already let one car merge over. If I let two cars merge, then I am ruining the zippering effect. You see, when there are lots of cars trying to be in the same lane the most efficient and speedy method for both lanes is to let one car from lane by, and then one car from another. By trying to push ahead you are slowing down everything for everyone. Look I even have a study about it: http://ops.fhwa.dot.gov/publications/fhwahop09037/principles.htm

Oh, yes, I can see you are mad. That is quite the nice horn you have, and your middle finger is very shapely. I'm not sure what effect you think that's going to have on me. I've already made my decision, and you showing that you are kind of a jerk is supposed to change my mind? All you've done is confirm that I made the right choice by denying you the ability to save yourself a couple of seconds by cutting in front of me. Look, everyone behind me agrees with me, so I'm comfortable letting you rage over there. Your anger is amusing more than anything else. That doesn't mean I don't hate you though. Oh, I very much do. Plus you are a bad driver. Next time be more courteous, and respect the zipper.

You've been weaving in and out of traffic for an hour...

...and I can still see you.

Look, I'm frustrated that traffic is at a standstill too. I would really like to get to where I'm going, and I have no idea what is causing this slowdown. What I do know is that: you are not helping. Every time you change lanes it slows everything down a little bit more. It's not even saving you any time. Even though you've swerved in and out of different lanes for the past hour, and I've stayed put, I can still see you. You're 5 car lengths ahead of me, and you started out right behind me. If you and all the other idiots out there just kept to a lane we might all be on our merry way right now. But no, you have to be a bad driver and I'm stuck in this mess and I hate you.